My husband thinks I am going crazy.
Why?
Well, the truth is, he is always catching me staring in the mirror, talking to myself.
On the surface, it may look like I am a little loony.
But talking to myself is actually my way of connecting with my innermost thoughts,
feelings, desires, needs and goals.
It’s a great way to work out problems and make plans.
Sometimes I act out solutions and scenarios.
I even give myself little pep talks in the mirror.
You go girl!
You can do it?
But most importantly, I talk to myself to help my to reinvent myself as I try
to make sense of the twists and turns of this journey that I travel: my life.
Who am I now–in this stage of my life?
There is so much going on in my life.
So much has changed.
How am I supposed to act, dress, talk, walk?
Who is that person I see in the mirror?
I no longer look like me.
Who am I supposed to be?
What do I really want?
Help me to “define the me that I should be today”?
Like a scene from a movie–sans the smoke and sound effects– the woman
in the mirror speaks to me.
She gets me.
We work it out.
In essence– if we let them–mirrors will reflect our true feelings back to us.
It’s a great way to encourage myself to stay on track and accomplish my goals.
Yes, my husband shakes his head and calls it talking to myself, but I have a better
name for what I do: positive self-talk.
Because “who I am” is constantly in motion, I use self-talk to connect with self and
reinvent myself–over and over again.
In short, I use it for good!
And you can too.
Taking Self Talk to Higher Level
To me, affirmations are another way of talking to yourself in the mirror.
In a way, they just take self talk to a higher, more constructive level.
Affirmations are essentially positive statements that re-program your mind for the positive.
The moment you have a self-defeating thought you’are able to counter the negative with a
motivating statement.
An example of a positive affirmation is:
“I am worthy of great success,”
or
“I see myself in the winner’s circle.”
What this does is replace negativity with thoughts that will help you move toward your goals
instead of further away from them.
A Positive Way To Talk to Yourself
In time, you will find your own style, way to say them, timing etc, but here are some simple
tips for talking to yourself:
1. Start in the morning, as soon as you can after waking up.
2. This ensures you have a positive start to the day – that the first thing you start thinking about
are your goals and ambitious, and of course, that you are thinking positive thoughts.
3. Stand at a mirror and look at yourself as you talk, and look yourself in the eye.
4. Stand tall, relax your shoulders and stand with good posture – take a confident standing position.
5. Have your affirmations in front of you, written down or printed out – especially if it is a new set.
5. Say them one by one, in a slow, confident tone of voice – go down your affirmations list like
you mean it, like you believe it, and as if it is actually real or already happened.
6. Speaking slowly and confidently is important.
7. Pronounce each one properly and speak with meaning.
8. Say your affirmations in the present tense.
9. Say your affirmations 2x a day.
10. Say your second set as close as you can before going to bed.
This ensures that you have positive thoughts and goals in your mind as you go to sleep–
so these will seep into your subconscious mind and solidify as you sleep.
11. Remember to repeat them multiple times.
12. Most importantly, consistency is key, so creating a daily routine will really help.
Use Positive Self Talk to Achieve Your Goals
Do you feel like you are always talking yourself out of success?
As soon as you start to set goals for yourself, do you suddenly have nagging
thoughts about how you aren’t up to the task or how you simply aren’t qualified
to carry it through?
If you have ever experienced either situation, you need to change the way you
respond to your inner dialogue.
Instead of obeying your negative commands, you can use positive self-talk to
counter the negativity and overcome nearly all anxious thoughts.
In short, you can use positive self talk to tap into your personal power.
Set Goals and Stick to Them with Positive Self Talk
Are you initially filled with excitement when you first set goals for yourself?
Are these thoughts then followed by self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts that stop
you in your tracks before you even get started?
It can be difficult to make the most of your life when you are constantly talking yourself
out of being a success.
It can be frustrating and discouraging to have these thoughts constantly plaguing you.
Many of us, in fact, don’t even realize we have them!
All we know is that we don’t have the confidence to stick to our plans and reach our goals.
But there’s another way!
Positive self-talk is an effective way to set goals and ensure that you stick to them, even if
you have never been able to do this before.
The way this works is that you decide what goal is important to you, and then you
plan the logistics of how you are going to attain this goal.
When self-doubt starts kicking in, you will respond with affirmations that prove your success
without surrendering to the negative pressure.
Since you’re reading this article, it’s clear that you’re no quitter and you’re certainly not a
failure, so start believing in yourself!
Use Positive Self Talk to Be Your Best Self
Positive self-talk is easier to implement than you might think.
You may not be aware of the severity of the negative dialogue currently within your mind.
However, once you begin with positive self-talk, you will suddenly realize that you have
been self-sabotaging the goals you set for yourself from the minute that you make them.
This process can open your eyes to exactly how much this inner conversation has been
interfering with your life.
You’ll feel hopeful that you can now set goals and surpass them.
Through positive self-talk you will be able easily set long and short-term goals for yourself.
And when you use affirmations, you’ll have accessible tools to help you push yourself further
than ever before.
Learning to quiet negativity with positive thoughts is a great move toward setting and attaining
future goals with ease.
The Soul of Reinvention…
Believe me when I say that I am grateful for my moments with my mirror.
My moments with myself.
Sure, my husband calls me crazy for talking to myself–but I am unapologetic.
I am unashamed.
“Who I am” is constantly in motion, so I will always turn ‘into myself’ to connect with me and
reinvent me–over and over again, as needed.
In short, talking to myself is the “soul of my reinvention”.
Keep This in Mind
As Louise Hays teaches us:
“Every positive thought brings good into my life.Every negative thought pushes good away.
I choose to think thoughts that create a positive
atmosphere in my mind, body and soul.”
“I am open and receptive to all the good and
abundance in the universe– and life will respond.
Each day brings wonderful new surprises.
My good comes from everywhere and everyone.”
Do you talk to yourself? How have you used self-talk to reinvent your self?
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How I talk to myself is so important. I need to be at least as nice to myself as I would be to a friend. Asking myself questions for the purpose of aiding my vision helps a lot.
Hi Joy,
I totally get you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your comments. That’s how I feel about talking to myself. It is so essential to my sense of self.
I need a bigger mirror! hahaha. Actually, your beliefs about yourself are formed by your thoughts, which become automatic. In many cases, that means the person is stuck in an old interpretation. So talking to yourself is a great way to establish new patterns & thoughts.
I remember sitting in front of the mirror when I was a little girl and talking to myself. I think I should start that up again. My husband will also think I’m insane, but who cares?
I usually avoid looking in the mirror, but I am going to try your talk- to-myself-in-the-looking-glass-trick tomorrow to start my day out right. Magical idea.
I do agree that self-talk is extremely powerful. I am too careless on how I do this. I usually overpraise or overcriticize. Drama queen that I am. Positive self-talk can be truly transformative. Thanks for walking me through it. I don’t think about the “how to” enough.
Hi Karen,
I know what you mean. Actually, self-talk is a highly-individual act. I think anyway you approach it is fine if it works for you. I believe “structured positive self-talk” can be useful as part of a planned campaign for change, or weight loss, or targeted reinvention, for example. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it.
Thank you for this reminder. I go through waves in life where the negative speak outweighs the positive speak in terms of my own conversations with myself. Positivity, certainty, kindness, appreciation…all very important to share with others and ourselves. It all ties back to “What the BLEEP do we know” and quantum physics for me 🙂 Again, thanks for the reminder.
I talk to myself quite often. My (adult) children think I’m nuts. I just tell them it’s the only way I can have an intelligent conversation!!!
Hi Deborah,
I can totally relate to what you wrote. Self talk is so healthy and therapeutic! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it!
I LOVE THIS! I’ve been involved with a blogging movement about compassion and many of the women bloggers wrote about their quest for self compassion. I’m going to share this post with the group because I know so many will benefit from your suggestions.
Dear Deborah, Affirmations are an important part of my self-care routine as is journal writing. I self-talk a lot and am happy to acknowledge that the messages I hear are transforming me. Thanks for your honesty and courage to share this with us. I journal to connect to my inner child who helps me find spontaneity and joy. I journal to tap into my inner wise woman, who is a sage. She is teaching me to notice, be a witness, and champion myself rather than be a judge or fearful participant in my own life. Bravo to all people who are willing to work of themselves to be the best that they can be. Nancy A. P.S. I wish everyone I knew could read this and I’ll do my part in spreading the word. Go Girl Go!
Hi Nancy,
I am so glad that you have shared your thoughts with us on the importance of self care through self talk and journal writing. I find that it really helps me and I hope this is helpful to others.