All couples fight and sometimes the argument can get more heated than anticipated. But neither partner should ever feel in danger around someone they love. Abusive relationships come in all forms—verbal, physical, emotional, and mental. If your partner makes you feel uneasy, it’s time to seek refuge. 

There are options for protecting yourself such as organizations that help young women leave a horrible situation. As a victim of domestic violence, it’s important to understand the victim is not to blame. Family members, friends, or loved ones who ask what you did to cause the abusive is just as toxic. Love can sometimes sting, but as the saying goes, love should never physically hurt. Here are a few ways to deal with an abusive boyfriend and how to safely get out of the relationship.

Recognize The Signs

Hidden abusers may take their time creating a false sense of love and attachment before becoming violent. Blaming other former girlfriends of being the one who ruined a relationship is a red flag. Jealousy can cause an abuser to act out when they hear something such as you talking to a male delivery driver and blowing it out of proportion. An example of an overly jealous partner is one who can’t deal with your past. Holding on to an old keepsake from an ex can send an abusive boyfriend into a rage. Men who immediately act out in aggression may make excuses for their behavior. Always trust in your gut; if it feels strange or off it probably is. If you feel unsafe, leave the situation and get somewhere safe. 

There are hotlines to contact or if possible, get to a trusted loved one’s home and call the police. Verbal abuse is just as toxic as physical injury. Name-calling, derogatory comments, and even things said as “jokes” are all abuse. A man who insults the mother of his children or someone they claim to love can escalate into more than harsh words.  

Screen Potential Lovers Early

In the age of technology, finding someone online can be extremely easy. While some people may not be interested in social media, there is always some sort of cyber footprint to follow. Social media can aid in discovering some things (pleasant or not) about a potential partner or looking into a current longtime boyfriend. Even if you’ve never been in an abusive situation, it may give you solace to know who you’re meeting (especially on a blind date!). 

You can dig around and do your own detective work to explore for a criminal people search record. For those who have been in domestic abuse situations, learning about a potential new boyfriend is vital. 

Protect Yourself

Gender difference in relation to offenses such as mugging and sexual crimes shows greater numbers of women being the victims. Taking self-defense classes or logging in a few hours at a shooting range can empower women. Knowing you don’t have to lean on anyone for protection is important. There are many kinds of martial arts from around the world. Krav Maga, for example, is used in Israel’s military and highly effective as a form of self-defense. It takes different forms of martial arts such as aikido, karate, judo, and boxing. Learning techniques in traditional art, as well as street fighting,  helps educate you in real-life situations. 

If you choose to purchase a weapon, know the laws regarding firearms in your state. Discuss the weapon you want and any accessories for your gun, such as a Maxim Defense PDW brace. This helps keeps your aim straighter with added support. 

A restraining order against a boyfriend legally protects you and adds to a chain of evidence for a legal case (if needed). Recording bruises, cuts, and other injuries at the hospital give you more solid proof than your words against his. If you need a place to go, there are women’s shelters aimed to give a safe place for women and children who are in danger from an abusive partner. Thousands of women are killed every year because of domestic violence. Ending the cycle is difficult but it can save your life.

Have you dealt with an abusive boyfriend?

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